As parents, we overthink what children need to be happy. We buy toys, we pay for experiences and we go over and beyond to keep them smiling when in reality all they ever wanted is our attention. Use these 60 Positive Things To Say To Kids, so that you can continue to bond with them and foster a relationship based on trust for years to come.
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How Do I Make My Child Feel Special
Growing up, I definitely spent more hours with my mom than with my dad. He worked at night and was simply on a different schedule than the rest of us. Despite that, I truly felt special in his eyes. He had a way to make every minute count and I am lucky to now be able to share that gift with my child too.
The lesson here is that making your child feel special and loved has nothing to do with the amount of time you spend together, but the quality of the time.
So how do you make your child feel special, even if you are the main caregiver and not the so-called “fun parent”? Here are some ideas:
1. Allow For Fun In The Mundane. Like dessert for dinner on Saturdays, childhood stories at bedtime, or making funny faces while brushing your teeth. It doesn’t have to be fun ALL the time. Try bringing your child to laughter 2-3 times a day.
2. Tell Them I Love You Every Day. Telling your child you love them so often might feel like overkill to you, but children need reassurance. Especially on those tough days when everything seems to go wrong.
3. Treat Them As Their Own Person. They might be little, but they have opinions that matter. Take your time to acknowledge that by seriously considering their ideas.
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60 Positive Things To Say To Your Child
The great thing about this list is that it takes so little time to implement. There are no “accessories” you need to buy in order to use the strategy and it really helps.
Looking at the list, you will start to narrow down quickly which of these phrases can be used throughout the day. Sometimes we just need some ideas when we are busy – that is what I’m here for!
Make it your goal to use 2-3 of these phrases daily at a minimum. If this is a new concept I recommend you print out the list and put it up on the wall. Using these positive phrases daily, your toddler will start to respond in a more positive way. Connecting with your child through speech can have positive outcomes in other areas of your life.
Encourage
•You Are Helpful
•That Thing You Said Was So Interesting
•I Love How You Said That
•You can do hard things
•Let me know if you need help
Feeling Scared
•It’s OK to feel scared
•It’s OK to cry
•I am here for you
•You handled that very bravely
•It’s OK to be upset
Things Don’t Go As Planned
•We can try your way
•We all make mistakes sometimes
•You can try again tomorrow
•You make me proud
•You handled that really well
Setting Boundaries
•Unfortunately, that is not possible today. Let’s see when we can do this.
•You can say no
• It’s your decision
•I think that’s a great idea, but first, we must (insert here)
Saying I Love You
•You are worth it
•I hear you
•I am proud of who you are
•Our family would not be the same without you
•Do you want to play with me?
Making Decisions
•You have great ideas
•Take your time, we can wait
•I would love your opinion
•I like the way you are thinking
•Wow! I had not thought of that.
Greeting Your Child
•I Look Forward To Hearing About Your Day
•I Thought About You Today
•I Am So Excited To See You
•Can You Tell Me Something That Was (Easy, Fun, Hard) Today?
Feeling Angry
•You Look Very Mad
•Let’s Talk About How I Can Help You
•You Can Feel Mad, But You Can’t Hurt Things
•I Will Be Here For You When You Are Ready
•Let’s Hit This Pillow Together
Trying New Things
•I Can See You’re Really Trying
•You Almost Got It!
•How Do You Feel About That?
•I Bet You Knew You Could Do It!
•I Appreciate Your Help
Going To Bed
•I Had So Much Fun With You Today
•I Hope You Have Sweet Dreams
•What Was Your Favorite Part Of The Day?
•Did I Tell You I Love You Today?
Disappointments
•Things Don’t Always Work Out, But That Is Ok
•How Did It Make You Feel?
•It’s Normal To Feel Disappointed
•Do You Need A Hug?
•Do You Need Some Time To Feel Upset?
Expressing Kindness
•That Is Such A Kind Thing To Do
•What You Say Matters To Me
•I Love Being Your Parent
•You Make My Heart Full
•Seeing You Happy, Makes Me Happy
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How Do I Talk To My Child Positively
The thing about attention is that your child will do what it takes to get it. That means that if the only way to get your attention is to do something “naughty“, they will.
It can be very helpful to learn how to flip your response into something more positive than negative. Acting negatively when your child is trying to get your attention will increase their anxiety and escalate the undesired behavior.
For example, your toddler throws a toy against the wall. He wants you to come to him, but asking you has not worked as you are doing something else. At that point, he doesn’t know how to verbally process his frustration so he lashes out physically instead.
It can be easy to yell with frustration, “stop it! you know better than that- it will break / you will damage the wall!”.
Your toddler already knows this, it’s exactly the reason he did it. It will instigate an instant response from you. When understanding the need behind the behavior, you can shift your reply to a softer tone, while still holding a firm boundary.
Instead, you can say “ouch, we keep toys in our hands, we don’t throw. It looks like you need my attention. I still have 10 minutes to finish up xyz.” then give them two options: “you can either play with your cars by the couch or sit next to me and draw”.
You don’t have to wait for your child to behave in a positive way to talk positively to them. It’s not about praise, it’s about the energy you release in response to their behavior.
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- 1What is Gentle Parenting? Why Gentle is Easier
How Do I Stop Yelling At My Toddler
Yelling is a physical release when we feel like we’ve lost control. It can often instigate a quick response from your child, but if you are starting to feel drained by constant yelling, it’s time for a change.
RELATED: 7 Ways to Stop Yelling At The Kids
There are many reasons why we yell, but they are always related to feeling stressed. There are two main things you need to do to curb the yelling:
1. Find Out In What Situations You Yell. What can be done differently to make it less stressful?
2. Remember That Your Child Is A – Child. It’s normal for them not to listen and to easily be distracted. You need to change your parenting, not vice versa.
Stick With It And You Will See Results
I know you are an awesome mom, but let’s be real- we are all human with our own shortcomings. Luckily, it’s never too late to make positive changes in your life. Use this list of 60 positive things to say to your child, and inject positivity and connection into your daily routine.
You might not get the desired response right away, but don’t be disheartened. Stick with it, in the end, you will be happier and your toddler will listen better. You are paving the way for a life filled with connection and I can’t think of anything more fulfilling than that.
If you haven’t already, download your free copy of 60 positive things to say to your child + receive 9 cute affirmation cards to read together.
