My Journey Through Motherhood & Neurodivergence

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I’m a mom, educator, former business owner, and someone who has spent a good part of motherhood questioning what we’re told parenting is supposed to look like. Today, Mama Questions is where I share my experiences, resources, and support for moms of neurodivergent children.

I started Mama Questions in 2020, when my son was a toddler. At the time, I was juggling motherhood, running a business, and teaching architectural design at the university level.

Like so many mothers, I was trying to find that elusive balance between being present for my child, managing everyday responsibilities, and finding a little space for myself.

I was passionate about gentle parenting, breastfeeding, safe bedsharing, and connecting with my son. I believed children deserved respect, their feelings mattered, and parenting didn’t have to revolve around rewards, punishments, and control.

I still believe those things.

But a lot has changed since then.

When parenting took a turn I wasn’t expecting

As my son grew older, the parenting approaches I had relied on became increasingly difficult to apply.

Advice that seemed to work for other families often didn’t work for ours. Offering choices, maintaining routines, setting gentle boundaries, or calmly explaining expectations could sometimes make things worse.

Eventually, we began understanding our son’s neurodivergence, including autism, ADHD, anxiety, and a PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance) profile.

What followed was much more than learning about a diagnosis.

We navigated school struggles, increasing anxiety, burnout, and eventually a point where school was no longer sustainable for him.

Our family life changed dramatically, and so did my understanding of parenting.

Along the way, I also began recognizing my own neurodivergence.

It challenged assumptions I’d carried about behavior, motivation, independence, emotional regulation, and what it means to be a good parent.

What happens when the parenting advice we’re given was never designed for the child we’re raising?

When the usual parenting advice stops working

You offer two choices. Neither works.

You calmly explain something. Your child becomes more distressed.

You lower your expectations, yet even the smallest request seems impossible.

Somewhere along the way, you begin wondering what you’re doing wrong.

One of the most important things I’ve learned is that behavior isn’t always what it appears to be.

What looks like defiance may be anxiety. What looks like a lack of motivation may reflect an overwhelmed nervous system. And what looks like an unreasonable reaction may be a child experiencing an ordinary request as an unbearable demand.

Understanding this has profoundly changed how I approach parenting.

I’m less interested in finding the perfect strategy to make a child cooperate and more interested in understanding what’s getting in the way.

How can we create conditions for genuine connection and collaboration?

That doesn’t mean abandoning boundaries or never having difficult moments.

It means looking beyond behavior and recognizing the person underneath it.

And then there’s the mother in all of this

One thing that hasn’t changed since I started Mama Questions is my interest in the mental load of motherhood.

In fact, it’s become even more personal.

When you’re raising a child who needs significant accommodations, the invisible work of parenting can become enormous.

There’s the research, appointments, school meetings, constant problem-solving, and mental calculations involved in navigating everyday life.

Sometimes even an ordinary meal, getting dressed, or leaving the house requires tremendous planning and emotional energy.

All while managing your own needs, responsibilities, relationships, and nervous system.

I’ve experienced what happens when that load becomes unsustainable. Eventually, I stepped away from the business I’d spent more than a decade building, and our family began creating a very different life.

I know what it’s like to desperately want to help your child while wondering how much longer you can keep going yourself.

Our wellbeing matters too. Not just because it helps us support our children, but because we’re people with needs of our own.

Why I’m bringing Mama Questions back

After several years away from blogging, I’m returning with a different perspective and a whole new set of questions.

The original Mama Questions explored early motherhood, gentle parenting, and self-care. Those topics remain part of my story, and you’ll still find older articles here.

Today, my focus has expanded to raising neurodivergent children, particularly those with PDA profiles, understanding nervous system regulation, navigating parental burnout, and finding connection when conventional parenting approaches don’t fit.

I don’t have all the answers. The more I learn, the more I realize how much remains to be questioned.

I’m still figuring things out in my own family.

What I can share is what I’m learning, what has helped, what hasn’t, and resources I’ve found valuable along the way.

I’m particularly interested in neurodivergence, autonomy, emotional safety, and the expectations society places on children and parents.

And I want to make room for realities that rarely fit neatly into parenting advice: complicated days, contradictions, progress that doesn’t look like progress, and situations without easy solutions.

What you’ll find here

Mama Questions is a place for curiosity, compassion, and questioning assumptions about parenting.

You’ll find:

• Neurodivergent parenting and PDA: Exploring autonomy, anxiety, demands, and regulation.
• Connection over compliance: Understanding behavior and rebuilding trust when relationships feel strained.
• Motherhood and mental load: Conversations about burnout, overwhelm, identity, and parental wellbeing.
• Practical ideas and resources: Small, realistic approaches to explore, without expecting every suggestion to fit every family.

I don’t believe there’s one correct way to parent every child.

I believe children deserve to be understood as individuals, with their own strengths, needs, and ways of experiencing the world.

And parents deserve support without constantly feeling they’re falling short.

I’m glad you’re here

Whether you found Mama Questions through breastfeeding advice, are navigating toddlerhood, or arrived because parenting your neurodivergent child has left you questioning everything, welcome.

You don’t need all the answers to belong here.

I’m still asking questions too.

If you’re new, you might enjoy starting with How to Connect With Your Child When Everything Feels Like a Struggle.

I’d also love to hear from you. What are you struggling with? What has changed how you understand your child?

You can reach me at info@mama-questions.com.

Warmly,

Stephanie
Founder, Mama Questions

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